10 Things We've Learned In 10 Years of Marriage

It's December 1, 2017, our tenth anniversary. TIME FLIES. So much has changed but so much has also stayed the same.

Yes, we got married young. Yes, we were high school sweethearts. ;-) We are very similar as neither of us are people pleasers and we don't really care what anyone else is doing, saying, or buying...as Scott's mom likes to say, "we march to the beat of our own drums." We do have some differences, but those are the things that make us compatible...for example, Scott is extroverted and I am quite introverted, so we do fine in social situations because I just let Scott do all the talking (and then re-charge away from people). ;-)

I'm not saying that we have the perfect marriage, I'm pretty sure that doesn't exist...but I do think that we have experienced and learned some things that could help others. Since this is a very special anniversary (10 years!), I wanted to do a post and sort of recap our 10 years and also share 10 things we've learned in 10 years of marriage.

P.S. We don't exchange any gifts or go to expensive dinners...our "gift" to each other is always in the form of travel (usually to Jackson Hole!).

This list was so much fun to come up with and reflect back on the last 10 years. You'll notice nothing that stood out to us had to do with material possessions...they are all experiences.

• We became debt free (excluding the mortgage)
• We visited 22 states
• We hiked more than 1,000 miles in 16 National Parks (click here to see the list)
• We visited 2 countries (Jamaica and Canada)
• We climbed Half Dome
• We climbed Mount Whitney (the highest peak in the lower 48)

• Traveled to St Louis for the 2015 NLDS Cubs Playoff Game
• Traveled to Chicago for the 2016 Cubs World Series (Game 3 - the first at Wrigley in 71 years)
• Took a road trip from Jackson, WY to Salt Lake City, UT to Death Valley, CA (and nearly got stranded during a winter storm in the middle-of-nowhere, Idaho)
• Went to The Masters Golf Tournament
• Went to games at 9 MLB Stadiums
• We both have put at least 10% of our annual income into retirement accounts since we were married
• Declined a job offer in Yosemite National Park to stay with a company that Scott loves
• Declined a job offer in Bozeman, Montana (this one was hard - it's #1 on our list of places we want to live)
• Sold our first home to downsize
• "Raised" two cats ;-)
• Started a business together AND kept it going!
• Traveled to 4 different states (NY, AZ, IL, FL) to partner with brands

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10 Things We've Learned in 10 Years of Marriage

Our marriage is the most important relationship

• Put your marriage first and don't let anyone come in between the two of you. Of course, other relationships are important but your marriage should always come first.

You don't have to like the same things...

• It's okay to have a hobby or two that the other person doesn't like (it's actually preferred...we both need our own space from time to time). And it's okay that the other person might not want to join in or learn. This hobby can be part of your alone time or time with your friends.

...But you do need to like some of the same things

• If you don't like to do any of the same things, how will you connect?  You have to have a few hobbies in common. We love to go hiking together. Any chance we get quality time to spend together, we spend it on the trail. This allows us to spend time together, disconnect and reflect on the important things in life. 
   
• Don't forget that friendship is a very important aspect of a viable marriage and try to communicate with your spouse as you would a friend rather than coming at it from the perspective of husband and wife (which can be combative at times).

Let the little things go

• Sure, he might leave the toilet seat up or she might not put her dirty clothes in the basket right away. While it seems like a big deal at the time, it's really not. Just put the seat down for him and put the clothes away for her. Let it go. Life is short and it's not worth bickering about the little things.  

Money, you have to be on the same page

• Financial decisions must be discussed and you have to agree on a budget early on. Being honest about how much money is coming in and how much money is being spent or saved is key. Even though some people still have separate accounts when married, money is still a topic that has to be discussed prior to marriage and often during the marriage. Be transparent with your finances and have frequent budget reviews or meetings to get on the same page!
   
• If one is a spender and one is a saver there is going to have to be some compromise. If you are both savers, you are probably okay. If you are both spenders and spend more than you make, you might want to seek outside counseling and develop a long-term financial plan. Scott and I were able to meet in the middle, he made me loosen up a bit on saving (in a good way!) and I made him tighten up on spending (in a good way!).

RELATED: How we became "rich"

More money doesn't equal happiness

• Scott left a job that he didn't like mainly due to a long commute for one closer to home and took more than a 30% pay cut.
   
• I left my "stable" full-time job to work on the website full time and be a personal trainer.
   
• We were both able to make these changes because of the way we handle our money. Just because someone has a lot of money doesn't mean they are happy. Making more money won't guarantee your happiness!

Never start the day off nagging or complaining

• No one wants to wake up and hear someone nag or complain. We are all guilty of it and it's not pleasant. Start the day off on a good note, don't let you waking up on the wrong side of the bed rub off onto your spouse.  Find something to be grateful for and give acknowledgment to it first thing in the morning...for us, it's simple, the sun comes through our bedroom window and provides light, warmth, and positivity to start of the day!  This may sound cheesy, but that positive experience first thing in the morning builds on itself as the day progresses.

Don't try to change the other person

• Think about how hard it is to change yourself and you will understand how hard it will be to change someone else. If you think there are things that your spouse could change, model the behavior you want to see and hopefully, they will catch on!  Also, realize that each of you WILL change as time goes by, so you need to accept that early on and love one another unconditionally. 
   
• When Scott started eating healthy and working out, he didn't pressure me. He just did his own thing. I didn't start until a few years after him, but he led by example and when I was ready to join the bandwagon, he was willing and eager to help!

RELATED: Getting started with clean eating

Have a clear vision of what you want your future to look like

• Do you want kids? Do you want pets? When do you want to retire? What does retirement look like to you? These are all important questions that need to be addressed. You could both have opposing viewpoints or goals and never even really know it!

Compromise!

• Of course, I'm going to have to include compromise in here! This is something that you will be doing on a daily basis and with almost everyone around you, not just your spouse! I'll admit, I can be very stubborn and hard-headed but I've learned that I have to compromise occasionally. You might have to compromise on something small like where you are going to eat or something large like finances. Either way, take the time to listen to your spouse and come up with a solution that satisfies both of you!

RELATED: Ways to save money on a wedding

Just for fun, below are a few pictures from our wedding.

Life is Short Make it Count. #25

Hiking Pickens Nose in Franklin, NC

I don't know if I've mentioned it here before but I've been having neck and head pain since April. I thought it was from Six Flags and then moving the next weekend and then from stress. I've been to the chiropractor and have had massage therapy and needling therapy. Some days it's bearable and some days it isn't. I'm hard headed and didn't want to go to the doctor but finally did two weeks ago. They took X-rays and I was told my C2 and C3 vertebrates are fused and have been since birth. This is causing my neck and head pain. I actually went for my first physical therapy session today and have some relief. I'm scheduled to go again on Thursday. Let me know in the comments if you have ever had anything similar. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out on when I posted on Facebook!

This update covers quite a few weeks (oops!) but my cousin, Trent Sizemore (of Trent Sizemore Photography), and his wife were just in town from Montana. His artwork is on display at a college in north Georgia and they had a reception for him, so cool! I posted all of his pictures on our Facebook page so check them out here.

I went up on Friday to view it and also spend the day with my sister to help her plan the wedding. Then Scott and I drove back up Saturday to hike with Trent and Kaitlin. We ended up doing three hikes, two near Franklin, NC and then decided to go into the Smokies and we did Andrews Bald there.

Also, people loved our idea to give out glow sticks for Halloween! We bought ours on Amazon and paid less than $20 for 300 glow sticks! Here is a link (affiliate link) to the ones we bought.

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Workouts

I just started week 7 of the She Sweats 12-Week Transformation. Last week wasn't my best because my neck was really hurting me and I was super busy so my workouts were all over the place.

As far as my neck pain and working out, if I'm having an unbearable day, I will usually take a rest day or just walk. Most of the time it's fine when I'm in the gym or doing cardio. For upper body days I just take it easy and watch my form and the weight. I will always skip something if it doesn't feel right.

Since my last update we've hiked Blood Mountain twice and I also did a short solo hike before my doctor's appointment in Dahlonega.

Hiking Blood Mountain on the Appalachian Trail in Georgia

Hiking Blood Mountain on the Appalachian Trail in Georgia

Hiking Blood Mountain on the Appalachian Trail in Georgia

Nutrition:

I started using my Instant Pot that I've had sitting in a box for OVER a year! :) I also posted our first recipe using it. Of course, it's boiled eggs! Check it out here.

Other than that things are about the same. We've been making mostly familiar foods but Scott has also been smoking chicken in our Kamado Joe grill. YUMMY!

Visit this link for our shopping lists and this link for ways to save money grocery shopping.

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Until next week, have a good one! Let us know if you ever have any questions or comments! I've loved hearing from you about the updates! Click here to read all of our updates.

DIY Canvas Arrow Art

We had a blank wall in our small living room that we weren't quite sure what to do with. I didn't want the wall to be too busy since we already have a lot of artwork in this open area but the wall definitely needed something! I saw a few ideas on Pinterest that I liked and we decided to go with this arrow art since it fits in with our adventure/travel theme that has taken over our whole house. ;-) We gained inspiration from this design and this design. We basically just saw the pictures on Pinterest and got to work. A bonus is that the one on the left covers up the switch for the gas logs!

This was a very inexpensive way to fill the space and also gives us the satisfaction of saying "Yes, we made those!". The prep is the longest part but is also the most important. I would say set aside 4-6 hours for this project (if you are making two) just because of the drying time. You won't be working on them for straight 4-6 hours though.

RELATED: DIY Industrial Pipe Shelving

Supplies (this is what we used):

• Blank canvas (2 - 24" X 36") - $20 (we purchased while they were half off at Hobby Lobby)
• Color sample - $3
• Painters tape (we already had this)
• Two cans of spray paint - $14
  • We used Rust-Oleum Spray Paint Metallic in Pure Gold and Satin Bronze. Below is an Amazon affiliate link to the Pure Gold. We purchased the Satin Bronze at Home Depot.

Rust-Oleum Spray Paint Metallic Pure Gold

We spent under $40 to make two large pieces of art (we already had the painters tape). I think that's a great deal! We also have almost the whole sample paint left and a lot of the pure gold spray paint.

I made Scott write down the steps so I could share them with you. :)

DIY Canvas Arrow Art

1. Buy a blank canvas

• We purchased ours at Hobby Lobby while they were 50% off
• We used two 24" X 36" canvases

2. Paint the entire canvas the background color of your choosing

• We used a small paint sample container (8 fl oz) and had plenty of paint and still have a lot left over
• Ours is BEHR ULTRA eggshell enamel interior color sample in Almond Milk

3. Once the canvas is dry, determine how thick you want your arrows to be (the portion you will paint with spray paint).  We decided on 8" thick arrows.  

• Now that you know how thick you want your arrows, the first step before drawing out the arrow is to find the exact midpoint of the canvas and premark that intersection with a pencil (it probably helps to make a small X).
• Then, measure 8" vertically up and down from your midpoint and mark each with another X. This will mark the inner border of your arrows and you will need to make sure both x's are at the exact horizontal midpoint of the canvas, so measure from each edge to ensure your arrows will be parallel. 
• You will then need to use a straight edge (we used a 36" level) to draw your arrows.  Start from each corner and draw a straight line to the X's you marked in the previous step.  Do not draw lines to the midpoint in this step...that is next.
• Now, you will need to draw the outer borders of your arrows.  Measure 8" (or whatever width you decided on in step #1) from each corner and draw a straight line to the midpoint all the way across to the other side of the canvas.  Measure the border's endpoint on the other side of the canvas to the corner which you've drawn your border to in order to make sure your width is consistent throughout.
• Repeat for outer border from other corners of the canvas.

4. Carefully tape along the lines and place newspaper underneath the tape to cover the section of the canvas that will not be painted with spray paint.  The midpoints are tricky because they do not form perfect 90-degree angles, so you'll need to cut small pieces of tape (about 1/2" long) and place them along the midpoints of the arrows.  We had to fold down the first piece of tape to the midpoint then place the second small piece of tape on top to make a perfect point.  This step is tough, but take your time to get it right!

5. Now it's time to actually paint the arrows! We used mainly the metallic satin bronze but also used the pure gold just to give it some extra texture. You could just use one color if you prefer but we love the way the light hits it and shows off the pure gold.

5. Remove the tape while the paint is still drying

6. Once dry, hang your artwork and admire your hardwork. :)