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5 Reasons Why You Aren't Achieving Your "Dream Body"

Body ImageWhitney CarlsonComment
5 Reasons Why You Aren't Achieving Your "Dream Body" | He and She Eat Clean

I hear it all the time: "I can't lose these last 5 pounds." "I do everything right and nothing changes!" "I've changed my workout routine and diet and still gain weight!"

The reasons why you can't achieve your "dream body" might be because of all of the factors listed below or just a few. Take time to really think about these and then think about your daily behaviors. I was going to try and list these out in order of importance to me but then I realized they are all just as important so they are in no particular order. ;-)

5 Reasons Why You Aren't Achieving Your "Dream Body"

1. You Are Focusing on a "Dream Body" Instead of Being Healthy or Performance Goals.

Like I mentioned in my body image post when I first started my fitness journey I didn't have any goals - I only wanted to be healthy. I know this might not work for some people but maybe if your goals haven't been working for you try shifting your focus to being healthy instead of losing XX pounds or running XX miles per week. Once your focus shifts to living an overall healthy lifestyle your body will change right along with it.

I'm not saying that it is bad to have goals in mind but honestly, Scott and I have been living this lifestyle for over 4 years now and we have never competed or trained for any races, etc. We might not be super lean but we are healthy AND consistent!

2. You Are Focusing on Losing WEIGHT Instead of Losing FAT.

You want the scale to go down, right? I know you do but sometimes the scale doesn't tell the whole story. Actually most of the time the scale doesn't tell the whole story. I even did an entire project on it where I weighed myself EVERY SINGLE DAY to show exactly how my body changed.

The ONLY thing that weighing yourself frequently does is create extra, unnecessary stress which causes you to hold onto more fat.

Stress is NOT your friend when you are trying to "lose weight". Instead of focusing on losing weight and the number on the scale, focus on FAT loss. Focus on the way that your clothes fit, your energy levels, your PHYSICAL abilities. Maybe you can run for 5 minutes straight now when a month ago you couldn't even run for 1 minute. Celebrate your small victories and throw away the scale.

The best and easiest way to do this is by incorporating weight training into your fitness routine! More cardio isn't the answer!

3. You Are Comparing Yourself to Others and/or Yourself.

You've heard me talk about "Fitspo" before if you've read my previous body image posts. It's what most people associate fitness with now. Fitness no longer seems to be about performance but more about six packs, magic detox teas, and obtaining the "perfect" body. If you've ever spent 5 minutes scrolling through any social media platform under the "health and fitness" category you know what I'm talking about. Selfies after selfies of body parts (most of them nearly nude), usually promoting some sort of supplement. I'm not saying that all selfies are bad (progress pics once a week or month are certainly okay) and not all supplements are bad either (I use supplements myself) BUT it's very easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to these fitness "models" or "experts" you see on social media. It's almost as if every "like" or "follow" is needed to boost self-esteem. Keep in mind that most of the time you see these people they have been preparing for a photo shoot or a competition, etc.

You can't compare your "every day" to someone's highlight reel.

On the flip side, you might be like the trap I was in where I was actually comparing myself to others AND to myself at a different point in my life. It was miserable. Posting and opening up about it has definitely helped me and I have realized that life is way too short to waste time on comparison.

4. You Are UNDER-Eating.

Yep, you read that right. You aren't eating ENOUGH. Almost all of the people that I coach and the people that I get emails from are NOT eating enough. It seems to be that when people start exercising they think they need to restrict their calories. However, when you aren't feeding your body properly it will hold onto fat. I repeat, if you are not feeding your body properly it will hold onto FAT! You must nourish your body in order for it to perform everyday tasks but then you also need to be eating for the exercising you are doing. I am most successful when I eat every 2-3 hours (5-6 meals per day) with protein and fiber at every meal.

5. You Are OVER-Exercising.

Do you have the mindset that taking days off is a bad thing? This is another popular one that I encounter. Rest days are VERY important. Rest days actually allow your body to recover and grow. You need to take at least 1-2 rest days per week. Also working out multiple times per day or staying in the gym for hours isn't healthy either. While this may provide temporary results you are looking for, overall it will slow your metabolism which can take you years to fix.

ALL of our workout plans have 1-3 rest days per week. We take the guesswork out of it for you!

Take time to really think about what your goals are and re-evaluate how you are going to reach them. Also, check out more posts on Body Image below.

Breaking Through Negative Body Image

Body ImageWhitney Carlson2 Comments
5 Ways to Break Through Negative Body Image | He and She Eat Clean

Yesterday I posted about my "body image transformation" {and also shared a few 10 second transformation pictures}. I'm not a doctor or counselor...nor do I claim to be but I do want to share what worked for me with the hope that it helps at least one person. I would love to see women all over learn to love themselves first - where they are - while continuing to improve in whatever aspect they are working on!

I'll say this again (I mentioned it in my "How I Achieved My Dream Body" post)...

It doesn't matter what is or isn't on your plate or what is or isn't in your training routine. It's what is in your mind that matters most.

5 Ways to Break Through Negative Body Image

1. Stop Browsing Social Media for Motivation and/or Inspiration

I know it sounds weird coming from me as most of you probably found this website through social media (and you can still continue to follow us since we are positive ;-)). I'm glad you did find us but there are so many out there now that only focus on looks (with a million selfies) or post things that are not attainable for most people (whether it is stick meal plans and/or "perfect" body parts). Although I would have considered myself a strong person, the comparison on social media sucked me in so I quit browsing social media. Hard? Yes but SO worth it. I obviously still post on our accounts but then I log off. I also cleaned out my Instagram quite a few months ago. I did fine motivating myself for years without "fitspo" so I decided that I would become my own motivation again. Browsing social media (Instagram especially) only made me feel worse (except for those few fitness accounts that I still follow).

Right now you might think that you are on social media for motivation but have you met your goals? How does it really motivate you? Do you spend more time browsing for inspiration than you do actually working on yourself? Become your own motivation.

2. Think and Talk Positively

I covered this in my post on Building Up Your Confidence with Positive Thinking but it's also very important in the context of body image. If you are constantly thinking and/or speaking to yourself negatively you will only believe that negative talk. Once you change the way to talk to YOURSELF your entire life will start to change. It's true - your body hears everything your mind says so stay positive!

3. Develop Healthy Habits to Replace Unhealthy Habits

It's hard to develop good habits but it seems so easy to develop bad habits. Right? When you are trying to live a healthy lifestyle you develop new habits that replace your old habits. Now instead of ordering nachos with cheese, meat, and a load of other toppings maybe you order tacos or a burrito bowl with healthier toppings. The same habit changing techniques need to happen in order to combat the "bad" body image habits that have developed. For example, if I feel the urge to scroll through Instagram (I just use it as an example because that's the main one that affects me but maybe for you it's Facebook), I start reading a book. It becomes a habit. If I have time to scroll through Instagram than I have time to educate myself on another topic. Find a habit that will make you a better person and start doing that as soon as you find yourself doing something that negatively effects you.

Below are some ideas:

  • Go for a walk
  • Paint your nails
  • Read a book
  • Take a bath
  • Cook something {healthy}

4. Focus on What Your Body Can DO Instead of What it LOOKS Like

Can you do a "real" push-up? Can you run a mile? Maybe you can play a game with your kids without getting out of breath. This will be different for everyone but if you can do things that you've never done before that means that you are improving and moving in the right direction. Focus on these achievements instead of critiquing yourself in the mirror. I quit looking at myself in the mirror and critiquing everything about me. I quit beating myself up for no reason. I went weeks without taking a "progress picture" or trying to gauge my progress in the mirror and the next time that I did look at myself in the mirror I was truly shocked at how much I had changed and it was all because I changed my mindset (more on that here). Stop gauging your progress on looks and focus on how you feel and what you can do.

5. Try a Relaxing Gym Class and/or Go Outside

Weight lifting is my absolute favorite thing to do. I love the way it changes and challenges my body and I don't get bored. However, when I decided to "snap" out of this trap I was in I started incorporating other forms of training by taking a few yoga/Pilates classes each week. If your gym doesn't offer these classes there are a lot of yoga resources online and also yoga DVDs available. Yoga didn't replace my weight lifting but it serves as almost a "rest" for me and my mind. Trying something different, even if it's just a few times, is almost always a good idea!

Another one of my favorite activities is to go hiking - preferably where my phone doesn't even work. It serves as a mind clearing time and some of my best ideas occur during our hiking trips (which you can read more about here). Spending time outside, even if it's just sitting or a walk around your neighborhood, is time well spent! Try it!


If you are struggling with negative body image please try these tips. They helped me immensely and I feel like a completely different person. Depending on the severity, you may also want to consider seeing a therapist/counselor. I know that for the short time that I was struggling, these negative comparison thoughts basically consumed my mind and it was awful. Good luck to all of you currently struggling. You are so much stronger than you think!

Body Image: A 10 Second Body Transformation

Body ImageWhitney Carlson3 Comments

The pictures above show my real "body transformation" (not a 10 second body transformation) once I decided that I was no longer going to compare myself to other people or even waste time on social media. Believe me, I have plenty of other stuff to do (I am building a new website {sneak peek here} and we have some BIG news coming up about this one!) so I have very little time to waste yet social media was sucking me in. I decided after I posted my body image post

that I was serious about getting back to my "I don't care what anyone else is doing or what anyone else thinks of me" attitude I've had my whole life. All it took for me to change was that decision. I won't say it has been easy but life is so much better!

I know there is NOTHING wrong with the picture of me on the left but I was not in a good place mentally. I wanted to show what happens physically when your mind is in the right place. Although there isn't a huge difference in the pictures (you can tell by how my pants fit in the right pic), I feel 100 times better mentally and physically. [The pictures were taken less than one month apart.]

I almost didn't post the picture below on this blog (I did post it on Instagram) but I think it's important in the context of the next set of pictures. Before I go there you might wonder what I did to get back on track so quickly...I will go into the exact steps in another post soon but along with the fact that I quit comparing myself to others I also started eating more {healthy food - yes, even more carbs} and I also started working out less. You heard that right. I started eating more and working out less. I honestly started feeling like I did in the beginning when I would wake up and surprise myself at how positive I was and what my body could DO.

10 Second Body Transformation

The pictures below are also "transformation" pictures. These are a little different though. I wanted you to see how some people can manipulate transformation pictures. We all get so caught up in this online world that sometimes we confuse it for the real world and take everything as the truth.

The pictures below were taken within seconds of each other. All I did was push my stomach out in the "before" pictures. I didn't use filters but keep in mind that some people do edit them by using filters and/or photoshop so the difference appears to be even more drastic.

I also came across this one below on my phone (that was taken on June 15) that I never posted! I did filter the top right photo so you can see the difference. I completely understand (and agree) that some people just have really bad posture or bloating in their "before" pictures but you can usually pick out the ones that are real vs the ones that are not.

This should also convince you to not compare yourself to others because those selfies you see usually take some time to get the right one with the right lighting, standing correctly, etc. Bottom line: Just concentrate on you!

I wanted to share these pictures so that you know that it IS possible to take back control of your own thoughts and transform your life in more ways than you can possibly imagine. I say that I had a short - but intense - battle with body image. I am so glad that I finally did hit publish on that original post because without the comments, support, and encouragement I might still be in that never-ending trap!

Stay tuned for my tips on what worked for me! I really think that they will help many of you struggling with this!