Pictures of myself that I hated.

Just like almost all of my other body image posts, this one has been in "draft" mode for a LONG time. I figured now was the right time to publish it after posting a picture of me and Scott on Instagram and Facebook recently.

I think the picture I posted was taken in 2012. I posted it because it was funny that we had a picture flexing in Costco. We've been going there every week for YEARS. I didn't really pay much attention to US in the picture at first. After posting it, I started looking at it more closely and some of the body image issues I've had started to creep back in so I'm finally publishing this post. Since this Costco picture was taken a lot has changed. I don't know exactly when this picture was taken or what I weighed at the time but I would guess I'm about 15 pounds heavier right now. The picture in Costco was taken either right before or right after a photo shoot I was training for. My training and nutrition were ON POINT. My life revolved around it but my life doesn't revolve around that anymore.

But just like when I posted the picture below over the summer (I weighed around 147 pounds in this picture), it doesn't matter how small I am nothing seems to be good enough. I'm going to share a few pictures that I've absolutely hated for one reason or another. I've even added a big ol arrow to point out what I hated.

Before you read further >>>> read my original post on my body image issues.

So, just to emphasize...there's approximately a 17-pound weight difference between these two photos. Sure, some is muscle but not all.

Keep in mind that a person of ANY size can struggle with this. I've heard from people from size 0-20 who have body image issues. So just because you think someone has the "perfect body" or they are the "right" size or weight, doesn't mean that they don't also have body image issues.

The picture below was taken in Canyonlands National Park in 2015. I obsessed over the little bit of "fat" that you could see coming over the strap on my pack.

These next few pictures were taken in 2014 I think. Those love handles...I even posted about this picture in my first body image post.

And the stomach...

Again, that extra skin over my swimsuit bottoms...

Another one from Canyonlands National Park where my fat is hanging over my pack.

Oh and this one. My hips are just way too big. And that little roll under my right butt cheek?! End of the world.

These two I had my shirt on because of the fat on my stomach, not because I was cold.

Honestly, it helps me to write all of this out. I also want you to know that if you are struggling you are not alone. I had body image issues when I was 127 pounds and when I was 147 pounds, and everything in between.

Please take the time to read through the resources below if you also struggle with body image issues.

• How Getting Into Fitness Ruined My Body Image
• Stories From My Scale (Why You Need to Ditch Yours For Good!)
• 5 Things I Did to Achieve My Dream Body
• 5 Reasons Why You Aren't Achieving Your Dream Body
• 5 Things We've Done to Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle 5+ Years

Body Image Ramblings...

I posted this on my personal Facebook page and I debated all weekend whether or not I should share it here as well. I’m going to go ahead and do it…plus, two posts in one day is like unheard of for me. ;-) Check out our post on what your fitness journey has in common with MLB players (even if you don't like baseball!).

First, I want to make something clear. I'm not saying that it's bad to lose weight or try to lean out. It's the persuit of perfection once someone is already lean and/or their ideal weight, size, look, energy level, etc. to keep losing or trying to lose weight for the wrong reasons. I also (obviously) think that everyone should strive to live a healthy lifestyle. I know I've mentioned some of this stuff before in my body image posts (here, here, and here) but felt the need to share it again because of what I'm going through in my life right now.

So, here's the post I shared on my personal profile (you can find our He and She Eat Clean page here):

I’ve had a few people ask me why I don’t post very much fitness stuff on this (personal) page anymore. This is probably going to turn into a one-million-word “answer” but here it goes…I should have said something years ago.

Honestly, I’m kind of pulled in a million directions, mentally. If you follow He and She Eat Clean or our WHAM Podcast, you probably already know this but I’m kind of strange. I am NOT a people pleaser and I never have been. I also NEVER had body image issues growing up. Sure, I wasn’t very confident (but that was mainly because I was like a size 6 with size F chest as a 14 year old) but I didn’t hate myself and I never, ever critiqued my body. Now that’s all I do. News Flash – I’m not a size 2 anymore, I haven’t been in years and I was only that size for maybe 2 weeks. But mentally I think that’s the picture that people have of me so I feel like a fraud that I’m not. I won’t even wear our shirts to the gym and many people don’t even know what I do. I know this may sound crazy to some of you but that’s how hard this is mentally to me.

I’ll have people tell me that I have their “dream body” or some “dream” body part but it doesn’t matter – that isn’t what I see. Lately, because of some very stressful months, the pants I’ve worn for the last 4 years are a little tighter than they used to be and it’s like the end of the world. This all goes back to the mental struggle of I’m NOT a people pleaser, I actually am quite the opposite and I’m very introverted. This industry is more than I can take sometimes. I can’t handle the endless selfies, butt pics, ab pics, PICTURES WITH COFFEE…seriously, I can’t handle it. I am still passionate about fitness but not the type of online fitness we see. I could make A LOTTTTTTTT more money (sell more workout plans, etc) if I “dieted down” to post half naked pictures online, shared a ton of pictures, pushed a ton of supplements, and basically fell into the online fitness world but I WILL NOT DO IT. I would rather be climbing mountains.

Call me crazy, but before entering this “fitness world” I didn’t even know that I should be ashamed of my stretch marks (yes, I have stretch marks on my hips and I don’t even have kids…), I didn’t know what a thigh gap was, I didn’t know that you should be able to see my abs, I didn’t know that I should worry about what size I wore.

Just know that some of the people you see who you think have your dream body or “look very healthy” are actually some of the unhealthiest people you will EVER meet. Not just physically but also mentally. This picture we now see of “health” is so distorted. You don’t need to have less than 15% body fat, weigh 120 pounds, be a size 0, etc. These competitors and fitness models go months or even years without having a period because their body fat is so low. Then their lives spiral out of control and they have medical issues caused from extreme dieting and/or exercising. I’m not a doctor, I’m only a personal trainer, but I get a TON of emails from people looking for help after competing or even just trying to get really lean for no reason and now they have messed up their metabolism. I get emails from people leaner/smaller than me asking for MY help to make them even smaller. It breaks my heart.

All of this to say, PLEASE if you have a healthy relationship with food and exercise DO NOT CHANGE. If you are not overweight or unhealthy, you DO NOT need to lose weight. I can tell you, once you start down this pursuit of perfection path it is very hard to get off. We are constantly bombarded from social media and the media with images of what we think we should look like. Whether you think you do or not, you compare yourself to them. And if you have kids, especially girls, PLEASE do not let them see you weigh yourself or comment about your body in front of them.

So, I still run our website (sometimes, haha) but I’m also incorporating a lot more of our minimalism, finance, and hiking related posts. I’m still passionate about health and fitness but I’m passionate about SENSIBLE health and fitness. Do you want a piece of pizza? EAT IT, just not every single day. Do you want to skip the gym and lay on the couch to watch TV? DO IT, just not every single day. Your mental health is more important than some body you are chasing. You also do NOT have to earn your food. You are allowed to eat even if you didn’t workout. Again, you ARE allowed to eat even if you didn’t workout. There is so much more to life than counting calories, macros, points, reps, weight, etc.

I realize there are much bigger problems in the world but do you realize how many females (and males) are walking around with mental health and/or body image issues? Who appear perfectly fine on the outside? It was never a struggle I understood until going through it. I always thought it was something that you could “get over” but now I know how hard it is. And I’m very thankful that I haven’t had body image issues my entire life like most people.

Do you remember how simple life was before social media? I could not imagine having kids grow up in this world. I really just want to move to the middle of nowhere Montana and live in a tiny house.

“Be who you are. Not who the world wants you to be.”
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”

6 Tips to Stay "On Track" Over the Weekend

You probably already know by know that we aren't super strict, we strongly believe that you should enjoy life and let loose sometimes. However, this is a LIFESTYLE for us though so we don't let weekends or holidays get completely out of control either. We try to treat weekends just like a normal day. Use these tips to stay "on track" over the weekend.

RELATED: 5 Things We Have Done to Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle for 5+ Years

6 Tips to Stay "On Track" Over the Weekend

1. Don't Skip Meals
   
   A BIG mistake people make is skipping meals. It seems to be an even bigger issue over the holidays and weekends. Whether it's intentional (thinking that you will "save" calories) or if you just get busy and forget to eat, skipping meals will lead you to over-indulging in the long run. Stick to your normal eating schedule and don't let yourself get too hungry. Pack your food or at least take protein bars or protein powder packets with you while you are out. Going to a party? Take something with you to share!
    
2. Make Time for Food Prep
   
   Take a little time to prep food or buy foods that don't take much prep time. We usually do a smaller food prep on Thursday or Friday that lasts us over the weekend. It's very easy to just brown meat to have on hand with some vegetables or rice. Things like canned tuna and eggs are very easy for quick weekend meals as well.
   RELATED: Weekend Food Prep
    
3. Sleep
   
   Sounds easy and amazing, right?! Well, why do most of us overlook this very important aspect of living a healthy lifestyle then? Just like with not skipping meals, don't let your sleep suffer over the weekend. Try to get 7.5-9 hours of quality sleep. Your body will thank you!
    
4. Schedule "Me" Time
   
   It's important to rest and relax on the weekend so that you feel refreshed. You don't need an entire day to yourself, although that would be nice, even just 10 minutes will work wonders for you mentally and physically. Activities to consider include walking, reading, taking a bath, getting a message, or just enjoying your coffee or tea in silence.
    
5. Stay Active
   
   Include at least one active activity each weekend. If you don't want to go to the gym on the weekend that's fine! Take the weekend as your rest day(s) but still try to stay active while having fun. Things like hiking, biking, playing in sports leagues, etc. are ways to have fun and also get a workout in. Again, even just 15 minutes of activity is better than nothing.
   RELATED: 5 Reasons Why You Need a Fitness Plan
    
6. Don't have an "all or nothing" attitude.
   
   You aren't perfect. We aren't perfect. No one is perfect. If you want to eat a hamburger, fries, and a milkshake and you do it - move on at your next meal. One "bad" meal isn't going to hurt you. You must start having a better relationship with food or you are going to always be stuck in the cycle where you start your new diet each Monday.

Continuing to eat junk food all weekend because of one choice is like slashing all of your tires because you had one flat tire. Keep it simple! All you have to do is make healthy choices the majority of the time and splurge on things that are worth it, not just because they are placed in front of you. Easy swaps like grilled chicken instead of fried chicken, vegetables instead of fries, water instead of soft drinks really add up!